


Peri Accumulates Partners

by sixth_dr_whomst, StoneForests



Category: Doctor Who & Related Fandoms
Genre: Another text verse but this time it's gay, Group chat, Multi, Polyamory, references to Time Lord Ianto Jones
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-03
Updated: 2018-09-03
Packaged: 2019-07-06 04:59:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15879042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sixth_dr_whomst/pseuds/sixth_dr_whomst, https://archiveofourown.org/users/StoneForests/pseuds/StoneForests
Summary: Peri makes a group chat for her signifs, plus one of her partners' other signifs. It's a mess.





	1. Cuddle Piles

**Peri has created the chat**

**Rani has joined the chat, invited by Peri**

**DrWho has joined the chat, invited by Peri**

**Erimem has joined the chat, invited by Peri**

**Masterly has joined the chat, invited by Peri**

**Peri has changed their nickname to plants!!!**

Rani: smooth

**Rani has changed their nickname to sciencequeen**

Masterly: to quote you, smooth

sciencequeen: don’t start

**Masterly has changed DrWho’s nickname to rainbow**

**Erimem has changed their nickname to erimeme**

erimeme: is this slander of my girlfriend i hear

plants!!!: at least this way everyone knows its me

sciencequeen: everyone??? there’s like 6 people here and you’re dating half

plants!!!: and youre saying you can keep perfect track of everyone’s usernames?

sciencequeen: i have perfect memory

**sciencequeen has changed Masterly’s nickname to emo**

emo: if i didn’t love you i would file for divorce

sciencequeen: then you’d be left with your hand and we both know that wouldn’t work

rainbow: just once,,, can you two not,,,

plants!!!: nevermind this was a terrible idea dr where do u keep the bleach

erimeme: babe,

erimeme: we’ve Done the Do

plants!!!: hush the fuck up

rainbow: SILENCING YOU TWO IN THE GROUP WAS NOT AN INVITATION TO SEND T H A T ON THE LINK JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

plants!!!: ho my god

emo: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

sciencequeen: why

plants!!!: eri aren’t u glad we are the Purest Little Shits to exist here

erimeme: :) thats us :) pu r e

plants!!!: Yes

rainbow: i beg to differ, none of my signifs are pure in any sense

plants!!!: fuck you did you not just hear one of the lights of my life

plants!!!: we’re the Pure Shits

erimeme: peri.

rainbow: p e ri.

sciencequeen: atone for your sins or be banned from the greenhouse

plants!!!: i literally Dont Know What Sins im Pure remember

plants!!!: also how dare u attempt to ban me from ur godtier greenhouse

plants!!!: id Actually die

sciencequeen: [theta-atone.jpg]

rainbow: where did you get that picture of me

rainbow: please delete it

emo: oh really???

emo: [shirtless-theta-mustache.jpg]

erimeme: quick question

erimeme: what the Fuck

plants!!!: im Wheezing sdhweh;ldkja;e;lsd

rainbow: is it legal to dropkick your spouses into a black hole

rainbow: google search

plants!!!: return search: no actually its kinda rude :///

rainbow: foiled again by 1 of 2 human signifs, better luck next time

plants!!!: rip

erimeme: press f to pay respects

erimeme: f

plants!!!: f

emo: f

sciencequeen: fluorine

emo: dove do you have to be so extra

sciencequeen: this from the man who wears a three piece velvet suit

emo: you wound me, my dear lady disdain

sciencequeen: my sincerest apologies, lady macbeth

plants!!!: gaaaaaaaaaaay

erimeme: Darling

plants!!!: yes

rainbow: peri.

plants!!!: Yes

erimeme: are we or are we not dating

plants!!!: …

plants!!!: me @ me gaaaaaaaaaaaaaay

emo: exquisite taste as always, my dearest dumbass

sciencequeen: i think you mean our dearest dumbass

sciencequeen: @rainbow

rainbow: im Everyone’s dearest dumbass u have to be more specific

erimeme: ur not mine

rainbow: Fine

rainbow: Im everyones dearest dumbass except for erimem, to whom i am her second-dearest dumbass

erimeme: no thats my cat

rainbow: Fuck

plants!!!: :^))))))

rainbow: No,

erimeme: ah yes

erimeme: the Purest Little Shit

erimeme: look at her go

**sciencequeen has logged out**

**emo has logged out**

rainbow: oh boy

erimeme: Peri did you do this

plants!!!: h OW WOULD I HSVE DONE THIS

erimeme: IDK IT JUST

erimeme: IT FEELS SUSPICIOUS

plants!!!: BA B E

plants!!!: I APPRECIATE THAT YOU HAVE THIS MUCH FAITH IN MY INCREDIBLE APPEARANCE BC FRANKLY, I AM STUNNING

rainbow: Yeah

erimeme: rt

plants!!!: BUT WE’VE MADE IT CLEAR THEYRE NOT ATTRACTED TO ME

rainbow: now im lonely

rainbow: you walked out of the rooooooooom

erimeme: they’re whining its kinda adorable

rainbow: iM NOT WHINING

plants!!!: im just getting a glass of water doctor oh my god

rainbow: i think we have established i am touchy and gay, okay, just come back and let me l o v e y o u

rainbow: update: my bedroom door is locked

erimeme: are you ???? inside???? or like

erimeme: did ur other partners take over

rainbow: i was gonna go in for my robe but

rainbow: i Cannot

erimeme: you have

erimeme: a Robe

plants!!!: it looks exactly like their fucking coat its a disaster youre happier not knowing babe

rainbow: but Peri

rainbow: how will i Cuddle

rainbow: without my Robe

plants!!!: u see u put ur arms around someone else

plants!!!: generally while lying down

plants!!!: and its like a hug except on a couch or bed and it lasts a lot longer than the average hug

rainbow: thanks i never would have guessed

plants!!!: You Asked

erimeme: besides u cannot cuddle her i am being spooned and it is Delightful

rainbow: watch me

rainbow: peri can also be spooned

plants!!!: :)))))) i love u two

rainbow: ! i love u too

erimeme: Babe thats kinda

erimeme: u know

erimeme: Gay

erimeme: i love u too

**sciencequeen has logged on**

sciencequeen: koschei is passed tf out but what’s up fuckers

plants!!!: i am both cuddling and being cuddled

plants!!!: who needs sex tbh this is the greatest moment of my life

erimeme: babe oh my god

plants!!!: shhhhhhhh i said what i said and i stand by it

sciencequeen: would you be averse to me joining this cuddle pile

sciencequeen: i would leave you to it but koschei is asleep and i want cuddles too

plants!!!: the more the merrier

plants!!!: come here and join us

rainbow: will u spoon me im begging u

sciencequeen: technically that would be jetpacking you are almost a full foot taller than me

rainbow: will u just hug me and cuddle with me

sciencequeen: would you have married me if i wouldn’t

sciencequeen: i have my fuzzy pyjamas on and i am c o m i n g for you

rainbow: phrasing

sciencequeen: shut up

plants!!!: fuck them if you have fuzzy pjs then u gotta come over here n cuddle with all of us

plants!!!: im assuming theyre fuzzy pants

plants!!!: u need to cuddle all of us now

erimeme: yeah

sciencequeen: pj set, it was an otherstide gift from koschei bc i was always complaining about being cold

rainbow: u used an abbreviation holy shit

plants!!!: its the allure of the promise of cuddling with me

plants!!!: we’ve short-circuited her

sciencequeen: i will bury your phone under a venomous plant

rainbow: no u wont

plants!!!: ilyyyyyyy

plants!!!: both of u

plants!!!: all of u

plants!!!: now im begging u come cuddle us with ur fuzzy pants

sciencequeen: look up from the phone i am right here

plants!!!: oh hewwo

plants!!!: nice pants

rainbow: i picked the dinosaur print myself

plants!!!: valid

erimeme: peri u have so many plant shirts i hope ur not planning on being r00d

plants!!!: i would never

plants!!!: i respect the sanctity of themed pj pants


	2. New Polys!!

**sciencequeen has logged on**

sciencequeen: all around me are familiar faces

sciencequeen: worn out places

sciencequeen: worn out faces

sciencequeen: bright and early for the daily races

sciencequeen: going nowhere

sciencequeen: going nowhere

sciencequeen: their tears are filling up their glasses

sciencequeen: no expression

sciencequeen: no expression

sciencequeen: ...you guys are taking an awful long time to log on today 

**plants!!! has logged on**

sciencequeen: am i just gonna sing this whole fuckin song

plants!!!: personally, emotionally, singularly

plants!!!:  _ fuck you _

sciencequeen: i mean, normally i have spouses for that, but i wouldn’t be opposed

plants!!!: im s cr e amin g rani blease

**erimeme has logged on**

erimeme: im

erimeme: i mean,

erimeme: mood

**rainbow has logged on**

rainbow: y e a h

**emo has logged on**

emo: i have two moods. loving my spouses, and stabby. there is no in between.

**emo has logged off**

erimeme: damn even bigger mood

**emo has logged on**

emo: THETA SIGMA YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKWAD

emo: I WILL DROP KICK YOU INTO THE MEDUSA CASCADE

sciencequeen: damn okay chill

plants!!!: do i

plants!!!: do i even want to know what my foole partner did

emo: HE STOLE MY PHONE

emo: AND SLA N D ERED ME

plants!!!: oh my GOD

erimeme: I THOUGHT THAT WAS JUST SOMETHING YOU SAID AND I DIDNT EVEN QUESTION IT

emo: THANK YOU, YOUR HIGHNESS, FOR YOUR SUPPORT

rainbow: it was funny though come on

erimeme: YEAH IT WAS

plants!!!: I WAS JUST ASSUMING U WERE STABBY AND WANTED US TO KN O W

sciencequeen: my husband, in a nutshell

sciencequeen:  [ https://youtube.com/watch?v=Oi4G8uWmQJI ](https://youtube.com/watch?v=Oi4G8uWmQJI)

plants!!!: sdwafekjsd;lasd

rainbow: ushas

rainbow: my love

rainbow: did you really just

rainbow: use a fucking undertale video

rainbow: to describe our husband

sciencequeen: it fits his personality

sciencequeen: don’t you agrjfkdszvkdxlnvLSC?>Jv/f.mzb/xkcbnk/dfjbc

**sciencequeen has logged off**

plants!!!: damn press f to pay respects

plants!!!: f

erimeme: F

rainbow: to quote a friend, fluoride

erimeme: “”””friend”””

emo: you say “friend” like i didn’t use to have to check for a fucking sock on the door so i didn’t walk in on you balls deep in her when you should have been at a lecture at the academy

emo: but go off i guess

plants!!!: i feel traumatized tbh

**plants!!! has logged off**

erimeme: oh my god babe

emo: i just misread peri’s name hold up

**emo has changed plants!!!’s nickname to pants!!!**

emo: much better

erimeme: shes going to literally fucking murder u when she gets back and sees this

rainbow: where?? is she???

erimeme: idk she stood up and i think shes crying in a corner

erimeme: wait nevermind shes back

**pants!!! has logged on**

pants!!!: OH MY GOD

emo: anyway now that ushas has been punished she can have her phone back

**sciencequeen has logged on**

sciencequeen: pants???

erimeme: p a nt s???? ?? ? ?

pants!!!: But Do We Need Them

sciencequeen: ...probably not

emo: idk about your polygroup but my marriage is a Pants Free Zone

sciencequeen: you wear almost exclusively three piece suits but go off i guess

emo: but i don’t sleep in them now do i

sciencequeen: you right

pants!!!: tbh tbh tbh i like. do n t generally wear pants to bed

pants!!!: its nice

rainbow: ushas steals a shirt from one of us to sleep in and That’s It

sciencequeen: the resident smol needs a good nightgown and your shirts are the Best

sciencequeen: mostly koschei’s bc s i l k

pants!!!: not to steal ur partners but oh my god thats adorable

pants!!!: rani thats fucking. adorable oh my god

emo: i have just had an idea but it’s a Serious idea

erimeme: go 4 it

emo: consider

emo: combining the two poly trios

emo: into a poly Group

pants!!!: i mean

pants!!!: i like

pants!!!: wanted?? to bring that up for a while actually cause like. im hella bi and ur both Fucking Amazing and the dr’s listened to me yell abt u a fair bit

erimeme: and same to the above,,,

rainbow: oh holy shit

sciencequeen: i am definitely up for this

sciencequeen: like obviously it’ll be an adjustment bc we are all Doubling our partners

sciencequeen: except theta obviously who is a dramatic bitch who loves Everybody

rainbow: damn u didnt have to drag me like this but ok

emo: Is She Wrong

pants!!!: this is so valid and like, yeah, but im so down for the awkwardness if it means i get to be with u :^)) im just. very gay

sciencequeen: oh same

emo: a mood

rainbow: my coat is the only answer u need to this

erimeme: hsdlkajslkdkas

sciencequeen: why isn’t my phone translating bc that looks like welsh

erimeme: oh

erimeme: my

erimeme: god

pants!!!: do you not know what keysmashing is

sciencequeen: n

sciencequeen: no?

erimeme: YOU SWEET SUMMER CHILD

emo: my dove

emo: you beautiful idiot

rainbow: you married me and you dont know what keysmashing is

sciencequeen: i married you 666 years ago you dunce

rainbow: and youre saying i didnt keysmash 666 years ago Also

pants!!!: oh my god 666

pants!!!: ~spoopy~

emo: ikr it’s amazing

sciencequeen: 666 years ago you were more preoccupied with the fact that we had twins on the way you wanna try that again

rainbow: the twins or the alleged not-keysmashing

rainbow: im genuinely confused and my answer is Very Different

sciencequeen: do you really want to deal with pregnant me again

sciencequeen: do you

rainbow: one of the lights of my life

rainbow: darling

rainbow: babe

rainbow: if i answer this honestly can i stay in ur bed tonight or do i need to find new sleeping arrangements

sciencequeen: we need a new bed anyway ours isn’t big enough for 5 people

sciencequeen: not with the way koschei hogs the blankets

emo: i’m gonna kick you off this bed ushas

sciencequeen: no you wodsljgck.fjhmls.kgjsl;jx

sciencequeen: PRICK

emo: yes i do have one, as we are both well aware

pants!!!: fucking. r i p

sciencequeen: anyway yes thete i am genuinely curious as to your answer

sciencequeen: i don’t intend to be pregnant any time soon anyhow

rainbow: cool cool cool bc im not sure im emotionally ready to have more kids and like. theres many negotiations to take care of in that department regarding peri n erimem

rainbow: plus im not sure either of them Really Super Duper want to deal with gallifreyan kids

rainbow: especially regarding lifespans

sciencequeen: understandable

sciencequeen: in all fairness, the twins were easy compared to my sister’s kids

sciencequeen: jesus fucking christ they were disasters

sciencequeen: we just had two quiet geniuses

sciencequeen: my influence, i’m sure

emo: and clearly your humility

sciencequeen: do you really wanna go there

erimeme: hush im sure it was All rani’s influence and Her Abundance Of Humility

erimeme: which im Sure Rivals The Doctor’s Too

rainbow: fuck off

sciencequeen: anyway if you guys could meet me in the library

sciencequeen: i feel like the negotiations part of this should be face to face

emo: to clarify: i’m carrying her there

erimeme: yeah valid

pants!!!: were on our way :)

rainbow: RUNNING


End file.
